Supporting a partner struggling with alcoholism can be incredibly challenging. People in this situation face a huge strain on their relationship, especially when it comes to understanding alcoholism and the lack of control that comes with it.
If you’re supporting an alcoholic partner, there are a number of steps you can take to help them manoeuvre the many challenges that come with living with, and recovering from, an addiction.
Within this article, we have explored some of the ways that you can support an alcoholic partner.
Many addicts choose to hide their issues from their loved ones, including their partners, and the problem can develop gradually over time, so it’s helpful to know the signs that your partner may be suffering from addiction. Signs someone you love may be suffering from an alcohol addiction include:
Many of us enjoy a drink socially or whilst relaxing, but if your partner is drinking more frequently or in larger quantities, this could be a sign that their relationship with alcohol is changing and they may need some support.
When alcohol takes hold, many people begin to withdraw from social activities, isolate themselves from family and friends, and become more secretive about what they’re doing and who they’re spending time with.
Engaging in risky behaviours, such as drink driving or reckless spending could signal that your partner is struggling to control their alcohol intake.
There is a huge difference between enjoying a waking up with a headache the morning after a few social drinks, and blacking out and experiencing periods of memory loss. Again, this could be an indication that your partner is struggling with alcohol.
When alcohol is used as a way of escaping the day to day, it can often cause people to neglect their obligations such as work and family time. In many cases, this puts a strain on family relationships, and neglecting work duties can lead to being fired, causing financial issues.
Experiencing frequent mood swings, irritability, or aggression can also indicate issues with alcohol.
Living with an alcoholic partner is tough. When you love someone and you want the best for them, emotions can run high. When it seems that your partner is choosing alcohol over you and your relationship, and in some cases your children, it can be a very difficult time, but with support, they can work to overcome their addiction.
Remember that you’re not responsible for your partner’s recovery, all you can do is encourage them to seek the appropriate help and support them the best way that you can.
There are lots of different ways you can support your partner while they struggle with alcoholism, while still protecting your own health and mental wellbeing. A good starting point is educating yourself on alcoholism to help you understand the complicated nature of this debilitating addiction. You should also focus on creating a transparent and supportive environment so that your partner knows they can come to you when they need to. Practicing empathy and listening to your partner can help you understand the underlying reasons for their drinking, such as trauma, stress or mental health issues.
Focus on solutions that empower both of you to work together towards recovery.
Expressing compassion is so important when supporting an alcoholic partner. This will help your partner feel able to open up to you and ease their feelings of shame and guilt.
Remember to give your partner your full attention, give space when needed and always listen to them. If your partner says that they would like to go down the route of getting some professional help, you should seek help together.
Although it can often be well intentioned, when supporting someone with an addiction, make sure you’re not enabling their behaviour.
Common enabling behaviours include justifying your partner’s drinking, covering up for them and shouldering their responsibilities. You should also avoid giving any form of financial support.
When supporting anyone with an addiction, setting and holding boundaries is important in protecting your emotional and physical wellbeing. Establish what you’re willing to tolerate, pinpoint the behaviours that are detrimental to your relationship and always communicate clearly and concisely.
Although it’s hard, it’s important to stay positive when supporting an alcoholic partner as it can help them to stay on the right track in their recovery. So celebrate small victories and seek extra support when it’s needed.
If you’re concerned about your partner’s drinking, it’s important to seek help as quickly as possible. The sooner you help to get the support that your partner needs, the quicker they can embark on their road to recovery. If your partner is ready to seek treatment for addiction, get in touch – we’re ready and waiting to help.
